Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I didn't notice because vodka
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize