I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize