um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize