If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize