in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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