Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize