Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
false alarm, still single
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize