I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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