Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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