Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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