took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I believe in your delicious
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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