the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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