does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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