look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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