i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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