I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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