Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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