So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
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You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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