marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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