Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cockslap morals

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  (917): I cockslap morals http://tfl.nu/zqeh
  Replies (5) Good night (2960) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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  (978): Why are you at a bar in Connecticut? (617): Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom http://tfl.nu/akoi
  Replies (20) Good night (3437) Bad night (465)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.

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  (215): Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women. http://tfl.nu/jnpr
  Replies (72) Good night (3018) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.

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  (815): Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight. http://tfl.nu/jud2
  Replies (14) Good night (4938) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.

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  (216): I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous. http://tfl.nu/a664
  Replies (22) Good night (4247) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5039) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers

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  (720): Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers http://tfl.nu/jgqx
  Replies (4) Good night (5359) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?

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  (804): Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos? http://tfl.nu/p64w
  Replies (39) Good night (1750) Bad night (6986) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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  (504): So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back. http://tfl.nu/rbde
  Replies (9) Good night (1031) Bad night (4010) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We talked him into tasing himself.

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  (903): We talked him into tasing himself. http://tfl.nu/jtjc
  Replies (12) Good night (2949) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.

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  (740): your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head. http://tfl.nu/v5j8
  Replies (13) Good night (944) Bad night (1948) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

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  (401): Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/4j6y
  Replies (17) Good night (1295) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year

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  (250): Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year http://tfl.nu/1qcg
  Replies (1) Good night (2191) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.

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  (440): I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation. http://tfl.nu/4dbg
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

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  (601): You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench. (1-601): Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan? http://tfl.nu/mbl9
  Replies (17) Good night (1895) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt

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