zippers are such a cool invention
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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