i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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