you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize