I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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