drinking out of a sandbucket again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize