Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
someone owes me an orgasm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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