after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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