Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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