hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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