too bad you live with your parents still
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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