do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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