so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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