Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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