Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize