Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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