she looked like the before picture.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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