omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So squirting runs in the family.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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