2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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