I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize