Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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