she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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