Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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