Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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