If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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