dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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