I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize