I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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