Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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