I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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