Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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